Starting Weight: 239.5
Current Weight: 227.6
Total Change: 11.9
No loss today! How can one eat 800 calories a day with exercise and not lose even .1 lbs? ..Oh well, I'm really proud of myself for making it through this 5 day Thanksgiving break with my kids and not cheating once. Not even wanting to cheat. I didn't even get all of my shakes in today.
Something I realized I may not have done is talk about who am I and how I got here. I'm 38 years old. I have two children. One girl on the cusp of being a teenager and one boy who just turned 10. I own a printing and marketing company with my ex-husband. He and I are actually really great friends. We work well building our business and co-parenting our two kids. In fact, I got the family house in our divorce. I live in the 4 bedroom portion, and he lives in the 2 bedroom apartment. I know, I know...seems like we should have just stayed married. No. We are great friends, like a brother and sister. We did not do marriage well. This is a much better place for us. We also had bought some property, which he got in the divorce, and he is living in the apt. so he can save up some money to build. I have a boyfriend that lives with me and is also a sales person for us at our business. Crazy huh? We all get along really well. I love telling people about our situation and watch them get uncomfortable. We are all totally comfortable with it. Our number one priority is raising these kids without drama, our number two priority is growing this business. All the players have stock in it all aspects of it. It works. I have yet to officially met my ex's new girlfriend, but she seems like a lovely person! I'm excited for him to meet someone that is good to him, and good to our kids. It takes a special person to fit into this funny little equation, but it is not hard. We simply don't want drama. Don't stir our very balanced little pot with insecurity and drama. If you do, you won't last. Ask any of the four other girlfriends that have come around. One of them is now one of my best friends! It didn't work between her and my ex because as he wasn't ready to make large commitments. She and I became great friends, and her daughter and my daughter are best friends. Life is a funny thing...sometimes the universe puts people into your life for a reason.
I wasn't a heavy child. I wasn't a heavy teenager. I was always an athlete with a strong athletic yet curvy build. It wasn't until after I had my first child that I gained a lot of weight. I put on 80 lbs during my first pregnancy and didn't take it off. My second pregnancy was fine, I didn't gain hardly anything but still never lost the weight. I tried everything, weight watchers, Atkins, pre-made food diets, bodybuilding.com diets, the caveman diet...you name it. I would lose a little and then gain it all back. UNTIL - I did a shake fast through the Concord Hospital in 2009. I lost 67 lbs. It is a lot like Optifast with a lot less options. I found my confidence and got a divorce.
After that program I dialed it in even more and lost another 23 lbs. I was 152 lbs 5'7". That is skinny for me! I have a lot of natural muscle and big boobs so I will never be a 120 or 130 pounds without looking sick. I did a tough mudder, which was amazing! I ran several 5ks, 10ks and finally a 1/2 marathon. I felt amazing! I started lifting weights and putting curve into places I didn't know I could. Weight training is the difference between a good looking body and a great looking body. My body looked awesome and I was so happy. I loved being single. Then I started dating.
Going out to eat with the new boyfriend didn't help. It also didn't help that he didn't like to work out. Why did I go out with this guy again? I spent 9 months of my life slowly losing all that I had put into myself because I was so concerned with making him happy. That is what I tend to do - work on other people instead of myself. By month nine I had sent him packing and found a new guy that loved to exercise, hike and be active. He also like to eat and drink. In the beginning we did a ton of active things and that slowly stopped. Real life started kicking in, he was moody. Up and down and all around and I found it hard to predict what he was going to be like. He was unhappy with several aspects of his life and I concerned myself with ways to help him. I'm still in this relationship today.
The difference this time around is that I'm focusing on me. If this relationship falls apart because I can't babysit it then so be it. I have to take care of myself so that I can take care of my children to the best of my ability. Back to me.
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